Confessions of a Bad Christian - Faith and Values column for Richmond Times Dispatch 4/21/12


I am glad Easter’s over.

There, I’ve said it. I am fully aware that this makes me a Bad Christian, but there it is. Christmas, I love. Easter? Meh.  Christmas gives you greens and golds, deep reds, 2-3 months of gift giving and parties. Easter? Pastel yellows, plastic eggs and giving up diet Coke for 40 days. Not that I actually give up diet Coke for Lent, but just being surrounded by other Christians who do is enough to turn the whole run up to Easter into a reminder of what a lackluster Christian I am. But it’s not the lead up that gets me as much as the day itself. Christmas day is easy - anyone can believe in the birth of baby Jesus. Babies get born all the time – not such a stretch. Resurrection, though? Now there’s something you don’t see every day. But there you are on Easter morning, with 2000 years of Christian doctrine nudging you hard in the ribs, whispering “Is it true? Do you believe it?” So of course you act as if you saw Jesus in the garden just that morning, all the while wondering if it really went down the way Matthew, Luke and John said it did. You wonder whether there were really any joyful reunions in the graveyard and whether Jesus just popped up in the middle of a locked room later that day. These things do go through your mind between the “Hosannas”, and you breathe a sigh of relief when Easter’s over for another year. At least this is what Bad Christians do.

Which is why we have the Gospel of Mark – the gospel to the Bad Christians. Mark understands the wafflers like me, the ones who kind of wish resurrections and people elevating into the clouds were a little more common and therefore, more believable. Mark understands this need for proof, the desire for a sighting. He understands, but doesn’t encourage it. This, at least, is what I get from Mark’s shorter (probably original) ending. As his gospel ends at 16:8, with an empty tomb, a messenger in white and 3 terrified followers, there is no sudden, triumphant appearance of Jesus in the garden, no walk along the road to Emmaus, no reconciliation between Jesus and his followers, just an empty tomb with these instructions – “gather with the other believers and find Jesus in Galilee.” The gospel of Mark leaves you hanging, and maybe this is why – Mark doesn’t show you Jesus, because you’re supposed to show him Jesus.

In all the other gospels, Jesus comes to you. In this one, you have to go find him. This really used to bug me. Mark, though, has become more important to me as I’ve wrestled with my Bad Christian tendencies because it reassures me that not everyone sees Jesus on Easter morning. Sometimes we have to leave the miracle behind, get together with other believers and get ourselves to Galilee – where Jesus healed the sick and fed the hungry, loved the outcast, forgave the sinner, broke the rules and changed the world.

So when the Bad Christians like me read the gospel of Mark, or have it preached to us by brave preachers, we stop waiting for the spotlight to turn on and for Jesus to step out of the shadows. We realize that we’ll see Jesus more so in the days, weeks and years that follow Easter Sunday rather than on Sunday itself. We start seeing Jesus in the ones who are doing those Galilean things that Jesus did. No matter how it played out that first Easter morning, I realize that Jesus is alive today in the peacemaking and the feeding and sheltering and loving we do. And through that ancient, first Easter story written by a believer who offers no easy proof, I learn that faith in a risen Jesus is hard fought and found on the road that leads away from easy answers and sudden miracles, away from the tombs and the temples and into the land of the living and the doing.

Comments

  1. Jim, I couldn't agree more with the challenges of the "walk" we all take in our faith journey. Maybe Mark was also leaving the story open ended because that is really what happened. There was no meeting in Galilee, no healing, no breaking of bread. We don't know and the skeptic in all "bad" Christians needs more proof. But that may be the beauty of the whole Easter story, that we need the story to be true and only through the search for Jesus will we find that. Mark wasnt so far off from what Jesus had been saying about " seek and you shall find me". Thanks for a great article my colleague

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  2. There is no "faith" without "doubt." Without the resurrection, however, Jesus is just another false or failed messianic wannabe. The resurrection gives us hope that the worst thing is never the last thing. Your article is beautifully written and honest, inviting us to understand that no one who claims to be Christian in 2012 saw Jesus in the 40 days after his crucifixion, but many with eyes to see can witness his presence daily, as he acts through his called out people. We understand, therefore, our role as his hands, feet, and voice in the world, bringing, healing, hope, wellness, justice, friendship, peace, love, and clean water to those who are in need.

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    1. Thank you Keith. Your post is also beautifully written. You're right - resurrection is, as Paul pointed out, essential to what we believe. I do know this much: Jesus was dead and is now alive. I am not so sure about the details, but if Mark's empty tomb was good enough for the earliest believers, it's good enough for me.

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  3. I read with "some" interest your column titled "The Gospel of Mark is for Bad Christians" in the Richmond Times Dispatch (April 21, 2012)And than found your blog too!

    It is a shame that you place such a negative label on yourself.. since I am sure that God does not see you as a "bad" Christian. Maybe one who is searching - but not a "bad" one.

    I am scratching my head over what "proof" would satisfy you on the resurrection of Christ? Jesus walked in a flesh body over 2,000 year ago, and performed miracles - curing the sick, raising the dead, and bringing hope to all who believe. Some folks believed He was the Son of God, but many did not. So, if folks would not believe in a "flesh and blood" Jesus who stood before them, performing miracles, why would "searchers", such as yourself who demand physical evidence on the resurrection of a spiritual Jesus... believe? Of course, that "evidence" may be "discovered" by discernment of your spirit - not your natural senses.

    There is a reason why we call it faith?

    Besides, why keep looking for Jesus to come back from beyond the blue, when He lives inside you today? Read and study the scriptures. Don't take my word for it. The Holy Spirit resides in all believers... and since the Holy Ghost, Jesus, and God are One and the same (Holy Trinity), than you only have to search within your heart to "find" Jesus! BTW, He never left us and He never will! "He who lives in us is greater than he who lives in the world."

    And miracles abound around us today! I challenge anyone who has witnessed the birth of a child... seen a magnificent sunrise, watched the waves crashing on a white beach, or seen other persons' lives changed by their faith... to claim that there are NO miracles!

    The "answers" to all your questions are in God's words... the Holy Bible... and prayer... but you will not find them by writing columns in which you label yourself as a "bad" Christian!

    I wish you God's grace in your search!

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  4. Thanks for your interest Mike, even if it's "some" interest. I write my column precisely to help find the answers to questions I continue to ask despite 45 years of Bible reading, praying, fellowship with other Christians, 3 years of study at seminary and a deep abiding relationship with a Christ who, I agree, is very much alive. I write for the other "Bad Christians" out there who have tried your formula for belief, have found their questions still unanswered, and feel as if they are second rate Christians as a result. I write for the believers who are still seekers and become less sure of the answers even as their relationship with God grows. Thanks for reading, and know that there should be room for doubt in every faith.

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    1. Thank you for your reply Jim. I believe the "formula" for belief is faith. It is that easy and that difficult. I think every Christian experiences doubt in their walk with Christ at some time and seek answers to their questions. I also believe that the answers to all your questions rest in God and discernment comes through your spirit by both prayer and study of God's Word. For me, some of my questions have been answered, others have not, and some still need to be asked? But in all, I am satisfied with my answers and non-answers because of faith. It is faith that allows me to believe in a merciful and loving God. It is faith that allows me to believe that the Bible is God’s infallible word. It is faith that allows me to face each new day.

      “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” – Hebrews 1:1

      “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” – James 1: 5-6

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