The meaning of life

this was my first column for the Richmond Times-Dispatch Faith and Values section, published Febraury 2011. The response was really nice to this one...

The Meaning of Life

“Why am I here, doctor? I’m useless – I just don’t know why I’m still alive.” So said Mrs. B, my 89 year old patient in the nursing home at the end of our exam. I paused for something salient to say, something that was honest, not trite, something that would help bring comfort to a fine lady who seemed to have few visitors, spent the entire day within a few feet of her bed and had seemingly little happening in her life outside of new aches, worsening breathlessness. Mrs. B was asking me to tell her what it all means – life, that is – what could be the meaning of life for an 89 year old lonely nursing home resident?

It would be nice to report that I represented myself well, that my wise and measured words soothed her worried brow and graced her countenance with a contented smile. Marcus Welby, however, was not in the house that day.

Mrs. B’s question is something I deal with, consciously or subconsciously every day in my work as a geriatrician. What is it that gives life meaning? I am a product of the modern era, of western individualism and American independence, fully engaged in the pursuit of happiness. So for me, much of life’s meaning is attached to my productivity, my achievements – economic, medical, literary. So for all the ways in which I love taking care of older folks, the thought of being old myself kind of frightens me. It’s threatens what I am now – proudly independent, freely mobile, economically productive, cognitively intact. There are philosophies which declare that humans have the power to give meaning to their lives, that destiny can be shaped and controlled by strength of arm or mind, by human creativity and achievement. These are philosophies of the young – they fail to give adequate meaning in the world of the aged, the dependent, the demented. Not to say that old age is synonymous with the loss of any of those, but the chances certainly increase. The belief that we can define ourselves, fabricate our own meaning and give value to our existence lasts only as long as does the strength of our muscles, the mobility of our joints and the synapses of our minds. For many of us then, the search for meaning in later life is an existential crisis.

Like many, I find answers to these questions in my faith, particularly in the writings of the Apostle Paul. In reading the words of holy scripture, I find that there is an insistence that life’s meaning is not dependent on who we are, what we earn, or what we achieve. As Paul says in his letter to a fractious Corinthian church, there is a ‘more excellent way” than this. I could speak in tongues, prophecy, give away everything to charity, be an awesome doctor, and actually get my book published, but that’s not the source of meaning. The Corinthians of the 2^nd century CE shared our desire to give life meaning through our own efforts. Paul speaks to me when he tells these overachievers that the only thing that gives this life meaning is Love. And this love is something that doesn’t simply flow from the heart, but is a gift given to humankind by a God who Christians profess, is love. Like any gift, this ability to give and receive the love that gives life meaning is not something I have to earn. It’s free to me at any stage of my life, now while I’m a provider for my family and later when my family provides for me. So I can relax. Bu the best thing is that the love that gives life meaning is, as Paul says, never ending. My strength will fail, my words will pass away, the lights of my memory may very well one day be extinguished, but this great love endures forever, remaining the same today and tomorrow as it has since before time began.

And so I am learning to look at all life and all lives as equally valuable, as equally worth preserving, whether or not they are the same person who founded a Fortune 500 company or whether that employer, father and husband exists only in the memories and photographs that surround him. I have learned that by virtue of being created by God, no matter what color, economic background or faith, each life has been invested with worth by a God who gives love freely and gives meaning eternally.