One of My Favorite Responses to Saturday's Column
Jim,
Thank you for your consistently thoughtful and gentle expressions of faith
in the articles you post in the Faith and Values section of the Richmond
Times Dispatch. I always look forward to reading your thoughts, and as a
fellow Christian, appreciate the way that you articulate Christian belief,
particularly in a public forum which attracts viewers from many
perspectives.
I have to say that I agree with the principles you expressed in your last
two columns, the "twin loves," but was disappointed with your conclusions,
and I thought I'd share with you a different perspective.
If there is nothing morally wrong with homosexual expression, than the twin
loves should overrule passages like 1 Corinthians 6. But what if, like
adultery, homosexual expression is a sin? If that's the case, then what
would be the loving thing to do?
To be certain, the church has in many cases woefully singled-out and
mistreated gays and lesbians, and used the Bible to justify their behavior.
But rather than a cruel punishment against those with same-sex attraction, I
believe God intended the Bible to be a redemptive force, pointing the way
toward righteousness, fulfillment, and peace.
If you keep reading that passage in Corinthians 6, you will come to a
curious phrase in verse verse 11: "And that is what some of you were."
This passage is particularly significant to me, as I consider myself to be
one of those people who "were."
I was never comfortable with my same-sex attractions, and as a Christian, I
never felt that acting on them was consistent with what I believed, even as
I encountered those around me who felt differently. I was fortunate enough
to be surrounded by family, friends and a church that supported me in my
struggle with same sex attractions, and I experienced real and genuine
healing my life. I grew in security in my manhood. I experienced healing in
my relationships with my parents. I was able to hear from God in areas of my
life that had been obscured by fear and shame. Over a 10 year period or so,
I found that my attractions had slowly been transformed. Not that the same
sex attractions had disappeared, but that they had faded into the background
and my natural attraction towards women had grown.
The story is long, but my point is, if someone had told me that what I
really needed to do was embrace my homosexuality because that's the way that
God made me, it would not have been love because it would not have been
true. Love without truth isn't love at all.
When Jesus encountered the woman caught in adultery, He showed remarkable
mercy, but in that mercy, he still called her to truth. "Go and leave your
life of sin." That's the call to all of us, homosexuals included. And to
offer anything less isn't loving.
I doubt I'll change your mind, but I wanted to offer another perspective for
you to think about. God bless you in your writing. I look forward to your
future editorials. If people are looking for resources in dealing with unwanted same-sex attractions, there is a Christian ministry in Richmond named Set Free. They can be reached at setfreerichmond.org
Sincerely,
Thank you for your excellent response. I wish all those who disagreed
with me would put such thought into their writing. You've given
me something to think about. You know, I've heard it said that we all
exist at one point of a spectrum - some of us are equally attracted to both sexes,
most have very little to no attraction for the same sex, but some are on
the other end of the spectrum and have little to no attraction for the
opposite sex. I think it's helpful to view sexual attraction this way
instead of an all or nothing response. It gives room for choice (and
responsibility for our actions) but it also places some people at the
extreme edges of the spectrum where true change is simply not possible. I
firmly beleive that there are many people having gay sex that do so for the
wrong reasons, but I also beleive that there are people who are created
gay, with no tendency towards those of the opposite sex. To insist that
they are living in a way that God never intended is probably not a loving
approach. I would like the Christian church to be open to both
possibilities: we can help those who need transformation, but accept those
who have no need of transformation. Thanks for reading my column - looking
forward to hearing more from you in the future.
-jim
Thank you for your consistently thoughtful and gentle expressions of faith
in the articles you post in the Faith and Values section of the Richmond
Times Dispatch. I always look forward to reading your thoughts, and as a
fellow Christian, appreciate the way that you articulate Christian belief,
particularly in a public forum which attracts viewers from many
perspectives.
I have to say that I agree with the principles you expressed in your last
two columns, the "twin loves," but was disappointed with your conclusions,
and I thought I'd share with you a different perspective.
If there is nothing morally wrong with homosexual expression, than the twin
loves should overrule passages like 1 Corinthians 6. But what if, like
adultery, homosexual expression is a sin? If that's the case, then what
would be the loving thing to do?
To be certain, the church has in many cases woefully singled-out and
mistreated gays and lesbians, and used the Bible to justify their behavior.
But rather than a cruel punishment against those with same-sex attraction, I
believe God intended the Bible to be a redemptive force, pointing the way
toward righteousness, fulfillment, and peace.
If you keep reading that passage in Corinthians 6, you will come to a
curious phrase in verse verse 11: "And that is what some of you were."
This passage is particularly significant to me, as I consider myself to be
one of those people who "were."
I was never comfortable with my same-sex attractions, and as a Christian, I
never felt that acting on them was consistent with what I believed, even as
I encountered those around me who felt differently. I was fortunate enough
to be surrounded by family, friends and a church that supported me in my
struggle with same sex attractions, and I experienced real and genuine
healing my life. I grew in security in my manhood. I experienced healing in
my relationships with my parents. I was able to hear from God in areas of my
life that had been obscured by fear and shame. Over a 10 year period or so,
I found that my attractions had slowly been transformed. Not that the same
sex attractions had disappeared, but that they had faded into the background
and my natural attraction towards women had grown.
The story is long, but my point is, if someone had told me that what I
really needed to do was embrace my homosexuality because that's the way that
God made me, it would not have been love because it would not have been
true. Love without truth isn't love at all.
When Jesus encountered the woman caught in adultery, He showed remarkable
mercy, but in that mercy, he still called her to truth. "Go and leave your
life of sin." That's the call to all of us, homosexuals included. And to
offer anything less isn't loving.
I doubt I'll change your mind, but I wanted to offer another perspective for
you to think about. God bless you in your writing. I look forward to your
future editorials. If people are looking for resources in dealing with unwanted same-sex attractions, there is a Christian ministry in Richmond named Set Free. They can be reached at setfreerichmond.org
Sincerely,
and my response:
Thank you for your excellent response. I wish all those who disagreed
with me would put such thought into their writing. You've given
me something to think about. You know, I've heard it said that we all
exist at one point of a spectrum - some of us are equally attracted to both sexes,
most have very little to no attraction for the same sex, but some are on
the other end of the spectrum and have little to no attraction for the
opposite sex. I think it's helpful to view sexual attraction this way
instead of an all or nothing response. It gives room for choice (and
responsibility for our actions) but it also places some people at the
extreme edges of the spectrum where true change is simply not possible. I
firmly beleive that there are many people having gay sex that do so for the
wrong reasons, but I also beleive that there are people who are created
gay, with no tendency towards those of the opposite sex. To insist that
they are living in a way that God never intended is probably not a loving
approach. I would like the Christian church to be open to both
possibilities: we can help those who need transformation, but accept those
who have no need of transformation. Thanks for reading my column - looking
forward to hearing more from you in the future.
-jim
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